that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
