Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
