So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They have beer where we have blood.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
