Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
