piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
