she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
