So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
