ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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