Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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