You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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