Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
