you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is wine microwaveable?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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