Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
