We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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