I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
