The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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