Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
