dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
