:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Two words: blizzard sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
