Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
