so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
