I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
