If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
