Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can i not drive my cunt home
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
