grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
