I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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