I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
