Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
