he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
