The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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