I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
