I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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