I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
