So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
