I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize