TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sober January is a disaster.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
