No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
