How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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