is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
