He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize