Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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