porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
