your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
there is puke in my bra ... again
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
