gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize