You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
