It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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