I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
