maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
