well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vagina is officially offended.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
