He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
