dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
