You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
