I didn't shave. On purpose
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
