found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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