your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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