everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
