im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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