i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
