Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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