I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
