It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
