The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize