dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
