I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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