Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ketchup is God's man juice
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
