So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
