I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
