Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize