So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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