god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
