you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
